Stand guard at the door of your mind

If you have heard of Jim Rohn speaking, you will know his excellence in putting words into perspective for you to see the facts. There was one particular statement from him which caught my attention, “Guard the door of your mind.”

What if you left your coffee to go to the bathroom for a couple of minutes and someone had accidentally spilled sugar into your coffee accidentally? What do you think will happen when you returned and drank that coffee? Nothing right. It’s just sugar. What if someone accidentally spilled poison into your coffee, what will happen to you if you drink it? You’ll get poisoned without knowing and you could end up dying. Of course, this is just to make you think.

It was only then I realized the crucial point that he was conveying to us but most people will not be able to digest it unless you start to look at your own life experiences. When I was a Chief Officer, my Captain told me of an experience that he went through. He wanted to buy a bungalow which was selling directly from the owner for a big discounted price. His own research and gut feeling told him that he should buy the bungalow which can give him a good return as the person was desperate to sell.

He went to ask for the opinions of his friend and relatives. All of them told him that it is not worth the buy as there was no proper road leading to that bungalow plot and it’s an abandoned bungalow. Still his gut feeling was strong but the doubts created in his mind had prevented him from buying. Another person bought the bungalow soon after. One year later, the government build a proper road leading to the bungalow and other properties in that area. The bungalow price tag went up to double of the original price. My Captain was quite upset knowing that he had the best offer but did not take it because of his own fault for listening to the opinions of his relatives and friends.

He gave me a piece of advice, always make your own decisions and follow your own gut feeling instead of getting the opinion of others. I didn’t realize that I had went through similar experience earlier in my life. Only when I listened to Jim Rohn, I recalled the time when I was offered as a Deck cadet to sail onboard merchant ships in 1989.

I went to Singapore to sign an agreement to serve onboard as a Deck cadet. At the last disembarking point in Johor Bahru, my elder brother and my uncle had created doubts into my head. I never reached the NOL building in Singapore. A day later, I came back to my hometown, Taiping; up north of Peninsula Malaysia.

A week after I got back home, one of my good friends, gave me a long lecture on sailing career, how you can earn a good income, you can travel to see the world, and told me how big of a mistake I was making. He helped me to make a phone call to the company and explain grandmother story, he made sure that I get a second chance at the sailing career. A couple of years later, I was doing great with my career, seen many parts of the world, living a good life. My heartfelt gratitude to my friend, Ravindran for guiding me.

At this age of 52, I understood clearly what Jim Rohn meant. The people around you have all the best intention for you, when they are giving their views. Sometimes, it’s a poison to destroy your path, sometimes it’s sugar to sweeten your life. They didn’t mean no harm.

It is you who have to decide for yourself for good or for bad. If you do that, you will might have regrets or you might be grateful but it was your own decision. You will grow to become better at making decisions. If you simply take the opinion of others, you will give the power to decide away and become weak. The next time you hear people giving you advices or opinions, just remember that it is free and that is what it’s worth.

You must be the master of your own destiny.